Category Archives: Uncategorized
Eleven is the Number of Angels
Quinn, you are the only kid left that I write letters to publicly. Your siblings have “real” lives now and our connection through these letters feels too intimate for blogging. As it is, Luke still hasn’t forgiven me for things … Continue reading
Double Digits
One decade ago I was in a hospital room. Catherine had come the day before with as many high caloric baked goods as she could find, in an attempt to fatten you up. She hung Buddha babies that looked like … Continue reading
Nineteen and Counting
Happy birthday, sweet William. I suppose you don’t know who Rod Stewart is or the song, Forever Young, but if you did you would know that it’s a song that makes moms cry (even after Pampers ruined it by incorporating … Continue reading
Quarantined at Twenty
I woke up this morning, ate a bowl full of berries and honey, drank coffee, and watched the birds. You were upstairs, showering, after crying, ‘ I don’t want to get old!” I made the potato salad for our “social … Continue reading
24. Here We Are Again.
I was pregnant at twenty-four. This is not computing. This is not computing because today, you, my first born, are twenty-four years old. All I see when I think of it is a giant infinity sign, looping between us, dancing. … Continue reading
Quarantined at Nine
Quinn has always been one to entertain himself quite easily. He is super patient and relatively pokey with most things. In all those years of volleyball and long car rides he never once asked, “Is it almost over?” or “Are … Continue reading
The Hum
The tree is down and the angels are packed, both the kinds in the boxes and the ones back on planes. I sit, decades after first becoming a mother, and am aware of Empty. Aware that the sound of silence … Continue reading
Single Digits, for the Last Time
Ahh, Quinn, happy birthday number nine. It was so good to come home to you after dropping the last of your siblings off at college. I don’t think I would be quite ready to be an empty nester completely. When … Continue reading
So Far Not Dead
Last week I was texting my aunt Lori and she relayed some sad news to which I replied, “Did she die?” Lori texted back, “So far not dead,” which made me giggle despite the sad. I told her that “So … Continue reading
Letting Go, Third Time’s a Charm
“It must happen to us all…We pack up what we’ve learned so far and leave the familiar behind. No fun, that shearing separation, but somewhere within, we must dimly know that saying goodbye to safety brings the only security we’ll … Continue reading
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